Taking the time to genuinely check in with someone and be fully present can make a world of difference. It’s not just about asking the question; it’s about creating a space where someone feels seen, heard, and valued.
R U OK? Day, recognised on 12 September, is a national day of action encouraging Australians to start meaningful conversations with friends, family, and colleagues.
This day is about making time for small conversations that can lead to significant changes – changes in someone’s life and in the broader promotion of mental health awareness.
Celebrating R U OK Day promotes mental health awareness, encourages connection, empowers important conversations, and, most importantly, fosters communities and workplaces with a culture of care and support.
This life-changing initiative is spearheaded by the Australian non-profit suicide prevention organisation R U OK?, founded in 2009 by the late Gavin Larkin, who lost his father to suicide. R U OK? emphasises the importance of mindful participation in suicide prevention by equipping Australians with the tools to have these crucial conversations. The result is a powerful cultural movement that embraces mental health awareness and support.
Like many others, the ACA strongly believes in the importance of participating in this campaign. We are committed to reducing the stigma around seeking help for mental health issues and actively engaging with our members and staff by asking: R U OK?
Don’t wait until someone shows signs of distress or crisis. Take a moment to genuinely ask how they’re doing. While it can be challenging to continue the conversation when someone isn’t okay, there are four simple steps to follow.
Step 1: Ask “Are you okay?”
If you notice someone isn’t acting like their usual self, ask if they’re okay. You can start the conversation with a simple “Are you okay?” or ask in other ways like, “How are you travelling?” or “You don’t seem yourself lately – want to talk about it?” Keep it simple and maintain a space of safety and empathy.
Step 2: Listen with an open mind
Listen with open body language and an open mind. Take what they say seriously without rushing or interrupting. Let them speak, and if they need time to think, sit patiently in the silence together. Encourage them to elaborate by asking, “How are you feeling about that?” or “How long have you felt this way?” Show that you’ve listened and that you care. Repeat back what you’ve heard to confirm understanding and acknowledge their courage in speaking up.
Step 3: Encourage action
Encourage them to take action. Ask questions like, “What have you done in the past to manage similar situations?” or “How would you like me to support you?” Share what has helped you in difficult times. If they’ve been feeling down for more than two weeks, encourage them to see a professional. Be positive about the role of professionals in overcoming tough times and let them know about free mental health services like Lifeline, Beyond Blue, Men’s Line Australia, and Kids Help Line.
Step 4: Check in
One of the most important steps is to check in. Stay in touch and be there for the person who confided in you. Show genuine concern and care, as it can make a significant difference. Set a reminder to call them in a couple of days. Follow up later in the day or the next day if they’re really struggling. A simple “I’ve been thinking about you and wanted to know how you’re doing” can go a long way. Stay connected and offer reassurance.
Keeping the conversation going when someone is not okay can be challenging, but it could make a huge difference in their life. Remember, you don’t have to solve their problems; it’s about being a supportive listener. Let’s foster real change in how we talk about mental health in our community.
For more information on R U OK? visit www.ruok.org.au
